Jim Rohn famously said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. There is an inherent truth to that, as we, as social creatures, pick up on the habits, behaviors, and attitudes of those around us. What that means is that if you want the strength and positivity to get through anything, you must keep your circle of friends and associates as healthy as you can. Wherever possible, you must remove toxic relationships from your life, regardless of how tough it may be. And in situations such as work where you many not have control, you must learn how to practice positivity so its spreads to those around you.
Much of what we see in the world is a reflection of how we feel inside. The brain is literally creating your experience moment to moment, and part of this is by top-down processes. This means that your prefrontal cortex, the newest part of your brain, which deals with your thoughts, is relaying information to your mammalian cortex, which handles emotions. These emotions then go on to inform deeper and older parts of the brain, including sensory experience and pain. This means that when we say a positive attitude can recreate your reality, it’s not just a metaphor, it’s a physiological fact!
“Maman told me that every time you smile, a very tiny bit of the smile stays stuck to your face, so as you get older and older your face starts to show all the tiny bits of all your smiles and you look like you are smiling all the time, even when you are just thinking about what to have for breakfast. She said, also, that if you frown a lot then the frown sticks to your face instead. That way when you are old you have a very frowny face and look cross all the time and people are scared of you.” – Claire King
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We are so often hit with negativity—negative news, negative perspectives—from pessimistic people that it might seem next to impossible to continue on with a positive spirit. Instead of getting stuck in the negativity, turn to those habitually optimistic people who have figured out how to see the brighter side of life and remain positive no matter what… so you can learn to do the same.
A moat can be a pretty good thing. It can be lovely. It keeps rodents away from the castle. It can have fish in it. Even fish that talk. … If you give people access, they take advantage. My phone would ring 75 times in a row. Finally, I would pick it up and say, ‘Who the hell is this?’ ‘Oh, hi! I’m calling from so-and-so’s office…’ What kind of person would ever, ever let the phone ring 75 times? And I guess that’s when I started thinking: I can do without these people. Bill Murray
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. Henri Nouwen
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