“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
White people can’t dance. I’m not being racist; it’s true. Just like when white people say black people have big lips, it’s not racist; it’s true. Black people have big lips, white people can’t dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, “What are those niggers doing in here?” They watchin’ y’all dance. And they’re like, “Look at these crazy muthaf***as.” Y’all be stepping on people’s feet and hitting one another. Eddie Murphy
Best friends send a “check in-text” to see if you need an excuse to end your date early.  They show up with seven-up and movies when you are sick, and they don’t give up shopping until you have found the perfect wedding dress.  True friends hang out after your party and help you clean up and do the dishes.  They show up with meals after your baby is born, and they offer to take your toddler to the park when they know you need a break.
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